What It’s Like: Homeschool to High School Transition

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Transitioning from homeschool junior high to homeschool high school is, well, different than I expected.

There’s a bracing moment in each homeschool mama’s world where she realizes that her homeschooled kiddos aren’t staying kiddos forever.

And though in theory, she knew this, she also finds the transition unexpected in its emotional weight.

In this article, I share my experience of what’s it like to move from elementary homeschool to high school transition.

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Our homeschool kids are moving on, moving up, growing into their own persons, and deciding to approach their lives independently, just as they should be. 

Despite fully acknowledging that I knew I wasn’t going to be ‘mommy’ forever, it always comes as a surprise when every.single.child. shifts how they engage with me differently (yet at about the same developmental phase for each of them).

I typically see some sort of push/pull dynamic, them wanting to be separate, and showing me that in their unique ways, and at the same time I definitely see a counter-will energy if I’m too insistent, forceful, or demanding myself.

ps Gordon Neufeld discusses this in his book on adolescence. 

This individuating thing comes as a surprise to my heart because my heart hasn’t changed.

I’m the same mom, remembering when I pushed them from my womb and then clung tightly to them just moments after their entrance into the world.

(Hmmm, a push, pull dynamic there too).

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I’m wanting the same things for my kids. I’m wanting the same closeness. And I’m the same mom.

One day I’m tucking them into bed with a routine of hugs and kisses, blessings and songs, the next they’re going to bed by themselves.

Then one day I’m detailing how to deal with their annoying sibling, and the next they groan: “Mom, I can figure it out by myself.”

Their educational choices & preferences move in a similar fashion.

Then, one day I’m reading fairy tales and Trumpet of the Swan then we’re reading To Kill A Mockingbird and The Great Gatsby.

One day I’m teaching subtraction, the next I’m listening to the math video lecture not understanding what new language they’re learning.

Moving on, growing up

Individual. Unique. In fits & starts. Engaging one thing. Letting another thing go.

At this age, they are very much beginning to see their own vision for their lives, or at least aware that they will be the ones visioning their own lives.

This mama, like many homeschool mamas, had an educational plan for my kids’ high school years.

Homeschool college?

One of my girls was asked an odd question: When will your mom stop homeschooling you?

My daughter’s answer: “She probably won’t teach college.”

I laughed in surprise at her response. Nope, that’s not my intention.

The person asking did not laugh. Couldn’t believe that might be a consideration.

FYI My daughter was right, I didn’t college home-educate her, she graduated from college this past month. You can hear about her experience homeschooling high school here.

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Homeschool Mama Homework…

I had to do my homework, of course.

A lot of homework trying to determine an uncharted education for a high schooler. Homeschooling high school is a whole different kettle of fish than homeschooling K – 9. If the high school student plans to attend post-secondary school, there will likely be an expressed interest, likely interest in a certain area of studies, and likely some focused work already.

I attended…

• online courses,
• read books,
• attended workshops on creating high school transcripts, grading, and rubrics,
• learned about SATs and ACTs, portfolios, and recordkeeping,
• talked to a bajillion people.

Naturally, I studied…

• post-secondary admissions requirements,
• high school diploma expectations,
• and talked with admissions officers of universities for alternative routes to entry.

Girlfriend, I was prepared to homeschool my high schooler.

An alternate route to the alternate route

Then it happened: my first daughter wanted to attend public high school.

I shouldn’t have been surprised (but I was). She has always been fiercely independent (from her second day of life) and she has always followed her own path to the final days of high school.

Of course, she threw convention, mine, and the school system’s, out the window.

Though she completed her high school diploma, she completed it in two years, deciding she wasn’t sticking around three years to complete it, she then saved money to travel to Mexico independently for five months and applied (on her own) to a University across the country to study social sciences and languages (like Latin! that I started with her). 

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Enter the second child…

My second daughter entered high school the homeschooled way and has been homeschooling for the last year and a half despite all of her peers attending public school (a streak of independence here too…wonder where they got it;)

Last year she loved her Apologia Chemistry class, BraveWriter Essay classes, and her private Comparative Governments class. This year she’s challenged by her Apologia Physics class, learning French via a Rosetta Stone subscription, and independently working through her Literature reading list. This kiddo continues with Math-U-See. She is working as a hostess in one of my favorite restaurants, spends many hours in dance classes, and hangs with friends. 

What’s new this year? Getting her into a college English class. I took a very deep breath before I called the local community college. Therefore, I presented myself confidently and shared my scenario with the college: I have a focused, engaged homeschooled high school student that is eager to try a college English composition class. 

I was directed to high school upgrading English without my knowing it. We showed up, my daughter wrote a college readiness assessment test, which translated into an offer to include her in the class so she could work toward her public high school diploma. (But she isn’t upgrading, and if she wanted to be in high school, she would be in high school.)

So I called the college and asked for a different person, the English department chair, and had an open conversation with her about my daughter’s learning goals.

This department chair and Professor was eager to provide that and suggested she join the English 110 class but that she’d have to write an English placement exam to be officially included in that class. 

Along with the application, I sent a copy of her portfolio: details of her previously completed work like comparative government essays, persuasive essays, formal lab reports, book reports, and general writing that she’d done the year before. She was welcomed into the class but required to write a Language Proficiency Index exam. She is more than halfway through this class now, loving it, and has just written that three-hour exam at a provincial university four hours away.  

This gal takes on learning responsibilities like a college freshman. Her drive to fulfill study hours, organize her daytimer, complete work before classes, study daily, and maintain consistent effort will surely get her where she wants to go.

The transition to homeschool high school has surprised me: it’s been a whole lot less work than K-9 homeschooling.

There has been more work required for me, at the beginning of her high school years, yet less work from me on a day-to-day basis.

Her streamlined, personalized education has been our goal, and she is receiving in spades as a homeschooled high schooler.

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Tips to homeschool high school?

Foster Independence and Time Management. High school is a useful time for teens to develop self-discipline, responsibility, and time management skills. If you want to give your teen ownership of their life, give them as much ownership of their education: learn not to dictate, collaborate, and assume you’re working yourself out of telling them what they need to do.

Plan ahead. Think where they’ll be heading in four years. Then plan backward. Assume they’re not heading in that specific direction. (From kindergarten 6 years old to college graduated 21 years old).

Help them live purposeful lives, not just finish high school on the dean’s list. Your goal, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to enable them to live their lives on purpose. So let them figure out how to live purposefully now.

Lean into child-led learning hard, because this will become adult-led living. (Aka release control my dear homeschool mama friend. (I could not hear that nor could I get that way back, but if I don’t convince you, you’ll likely have at least one kiddo that will certainly try to teach you unconsciously. They were meant to be on the planet for their unique reasons, and it’s not to become you.)

Remember, each child is unique. And homeschooling can be tailored to suit their individual needs and interests. Deschool yourself from all those unhelpful homeschool mindsets that suggest there is just one right way to homeschool high school. There isn’t. It’s not a thing.

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People also ask…

• A Homeschool Teenager’s Perspective: How to Homeschool High School
• Wise Advice for High School Homeschoolers with Vicki Tillman
• Why Homeschool High School is Better with Mary Hannah Wilson
• What are the benefits of of homeschool high school?
• What’s it like having a high school homeschooler at home?
• A 2023 High School Graduates Thoughts on her Homeschool Life
• I’m a new homeschooler, are you able to walk alongside me and mentor me?

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Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/